Robb’s Blog

I have said it before and will likely say it many more times. I love yoga. Yoga is more than physical exercise for the body IF you allow it to be more than that for you. Yoga is an art form that allows each of us to be creative with our bodies and if we allow it, with our minds. It allows us to express and release our emotional selves with movement and breath. It allows us to learn about ourselves and find out things we might not have realized we need to express.

Beyond the aspects of the self that it allows us to learn, it also clearly teaches us. It teaches patience. It teaches us to be present and conscious of the now. It teaches us to breath through much more than just a pose or just when on our mats.

Yoga for me personally has done much more than that. It has exposed a Path that I don’t know I would have found without yoga. But what’s more is that it has allowed me to realize that any path can exist and any path can be exposed if we are just willing to blaze the trail.

The emotional expression of yoga has also allowed me to face a lot of demons from my past and release them. Or at least befriend them. That process has also led me down a parallel path of expression that I did not know I had in me.

These are just a few of the things that I have found that the art of yoga has brought to my life. I hope that you have found unique and important paths through your practice.

The following passage is what prompted my topic today. I don’t always feel inspired to write from my heart. but beautiful words always inspire me. I hope these inspire you in some way as well.

The basis of an aesthetic art is the pure idea. But the pure idea is, of necessity, an aesthetic act. Here then is the epistemological paradox that is the artist’s problem. Not space cutting nor space building, not construction nor fauvist destruction; not the pure line, straight and narrow, nor the tortured line, distorted and humiliating; not the accurate eye, all fingers, nor the wild eye of dream, winking; but the idea-complex that makes contact with mystery - of life, of men, of nature, of the hard, black chaos that is death, or the grayer, softer chaos that is tragedy. For it is only the pure idea that has meaning. Everything else has everything else.

~ From “Reading abstract expressionism: context and critique” by Ellen G. Landau

Although I do give my works names, I don’t like to because it sets a tone and I don’t think that is what it should be about.

I posted this previously on a retired blog but I love it. It is the kind of writing that makes me want to write here. The more I discover this type of writing, the more I want to write and the more I want to be a better writer. This is what makes me love the beauty that words can create.

“It is, I now understand, a story that has no clear beginning or end, but, like the blood itself, keeps coming back around, full circle.

In each heart, at one time, two motions, the spent blood returning even as the renewed rushes out.

At one time, in each heart - yours, mine, at this very instant - two leanings, two dispositions, two emotions: the urge to go to the very edges of our existence followed by that dire sensation of having gone too far, of being way out on a limb and needing, at all costs, to get back home.

In each heart, at one time, both thrust and thrust’s acceptance, an ongoing, self-contained act of inner coition that at once mimes and moves the outward one to its perfectly mindless redundancy. More and more now I know the outer world to be a recapitulation of our own inner biology.

Outside, the city slumbers along with my brain. I’ve just doubled back on it, followed my heart’s footsteps back around to what I’d taken such pains to escape, found myself standing before some late-night, domino-lit office tower, dead migratory birds strewn at its base.

Where, then, to begin? At what point in the heart’s motion to intercede without disrupting that ongoing simultaneity? It has a mind of its own, the heart, for which our minds have yet to find the words.”

~ From “A Man After His Own Heart” by Charles Siebert

Some devil is stuck inside of me, I cannot set it free.

~ Dave Matthews Band, “Some Devil”

No matter how hard I try, I cannot set some devil’s free. They simply are the type that have latched on to me and seem to now be permanently attached. It’s quite frustrating. No matter how hard I try, I cannot consistently live in the moment and remember that NOW is the only thing that exists. Not the past, not the future, only NOW. I am constantly catching myself thinking about the past and wondering “what if” - what if I had done things differently, what if I had made this decision or that choice rather than the ones I did, what if, what if, what if. I am constantly worrying about the future and wondering if everything is going to be “OK,” whatever that means.

Right NOW is all that matters and right NOW I am alive and healthy and in love and I have everything I could possibly need. But no matter how many times I say to myself that IF this or that happens, I will just make changes and go with the flow, I cannot find comfort in the moment, in the NOW.

Even knowing that faith has a tendency to show you the way as long as you are willing to blaze the trail, I cannot find comfort.

I have decided that comparison and intellect is the source of my suffering. If I were not comparing myself or details of my life with others or different possible scenarios, I would be fine. If I did not have the intellect to explore all these “what if” situations, I would be fine. I would simply live. I would be comfortable in the now.

And I’d give up forever to touch you
Cause I know that you feel me somehow
You’re the closest to heaven that I’ll ever be
And I don’t want to go home right now

And all I can taste is this moment
And all I can breathe is your life
Cause sooner or later it’s over
I just don’t want to miss you tonight

And I don’t want the world to see me
Cause I don’t think that they’d understand
When everything’s made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am

And you can’t fight the tears that ain’t coming
Or the moment of truth in your lies
When everything seems like the movies
Yeah you bleed just to know your alive

And I don’t want the world to see me
Cause I don’t think that they’d understand
When everything’s made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am

I don’t want the world to see me
Cause I don’t think that they’d understand
When everything’s made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am

I just want you to know who I am

~ Goo Goo Dolls, Iris

Lieh Tzu, Chuang Tzu, and Lao Tzu, the three Taoist masters, talk only about the way. Tao means the way - they don’t talk about the goal at all. They say: The goal will take care of itself; you need not worry about the goal. If you know the way you know the goal, because the goal is not at the very end of the way, the goal is all over the way - each moment and each step it is there. It is not that when the way ends you arrive at the goal; each moment, wherever you are, you are at the goal if you are on the way. To be on the way is to be at the goal. Hence they on’t talk about the goal, they on’t talk about God, they don’t talk about moksha, nirvana, enlightenment - no, not at all. Very simple is their message: You have to find the way.

From “Tao: The Pathless Path” by Osho

I’ve been practicing yoga now consistently for over three years. Relatively speaking that is really not much time at all. I am definitely still a baby when it comes to my yogic growth, maybe a toddler. As I grow with my practice, I am noticing subtle changes not only in my body and my physique but also in how I approach my practice, what I enjoy and how each pose is evolving as these changes take place and as I gain a deeper understanding of them and of myself. Most importantly, but least importantly for this context, I’ve clearly had some positive growth in my mental and emotional practices as a result of my yoga.

One of the most important aspects of this growth that I have been noticing lately is how alignment and focus can have a very significant impact on how I feel about my practice and how my practice makes me feel. I am finding my edges more often and more consistently than I ever have. The main reason for this is that I am one to almost always use blocks. I have no ego when it comes to where I am in my practice or what my body can do physically or how I might look. I simply do what I can do which sometimes is more than other times depending on the day and how much I’ve practiced recently. If that means I need a block to do Side Angle, then so be it.

The interesting and important aspect of this for me has been that I’ve learned to use blocks to maximize each pose for me no matter how I am feeling. This in turn has, I believe, allowed me to progress in ways that I might not if I were not using these props or thinking in this way. For example, I have always used blocks in Triangle. I simply don’t always have the flexibility in my sides or legs that allows me to go all the way to the floor. I sometimes wish I did but then always remind myself that if it were that easy, it would be boring and I would not feel the reward of progress.

Anyway, all of this brings me to the focus that I mentioned previously. The blocks have been important for these reasons but in addition they’ve forced me in a roundabout way to focus on my alignment and on how I move my body into all the poses and find those edges that make all the difference in my progress. Going back to my Triangle example, one of the reasons I use the block is to make sure I maximize that stretch at my hip. I personally tend to move into the pose from the side (and please NOTE here that I am NOT a teacher and therefore do not recommend that you necessarily do anything I say the way I say it but it does work for me). I kind of rotate my hip up to the sky as I stretch my upper body forward and down to the block. This has consistently (especially recently) resulted in not only a great, focused stretch at my hip but also a bit of soreness the next day that I just love.

In the same way, when I am doing side angle, I find that bringing the floor up to my hand just a bit allows me to get a full extension along my side from my shoulder all the way down to the outside edge of my trailing foot. Or when I do a revolved … well, anything, I use a block to make sure that I am getting the most of the stretch wherever I may be feeling the stretch. I often don’t even lift my back leg in revolved Half Moon because I find that I get all the stretch I need by using a block and focusing how I am aligning my body and how I am rotating and where, etc.

I think ultimately a lot of people new to yoga get lost in the way the poses are “supposed” to look. I know that I sometimes still do this. When I extend in Triangle or hear a teacher say to square my hips in Airplane, I often go there in my mind and find myself wondering if I look like I am doing it right rather then remembering that it is not about how it looks but how it feels.

I think this is one of the more important lessons that yoga can teac. It’s one that can be used on and off of the mat. In this culture of materialism and who knows who, it’s important to remember that it’s not about what I look like or how I am doing something. What is important is how I feel about what I am doing. Do I feel good? Do I feel like I am getting the most from what I am spending my time and money on? Or am I just trying to keep up with the Jones?

I can’t help but feel lost right now. Not because something specific has happened to me or even to anyone I know necessarily. I simply have this lost feeling about where we stand right now in this world and where we are in our sociocultural evolution. I also am feeling like things are a bit unfair right now for a lot of us. I don’t know of a better word to use than “unfair.” It all just seems slightly off in some fundamental way that I don’t have the power to fully comprehend.

On one hand we have this war that I am so sick of hearing about but at the same time so saddened by and in the same breath embarrassed by almost. This handful of a mess that we are in is not good in any respect. But then I feel bad for feeling this way because I know that there are people dying and I feel almost guilty because these are good people. Some of them are dying simply because it’s their job. Others are doing it because they believe in it. Either way, they didn’t start this nor are they the ones promoting and progressing this war. They are simply paying the ultimate physical price.

On the other hand we have the constant stream of what seems to be bad news in the media about the economy. Every day it seems to be getting worse even though when I go outside and live my life, it all seems the same as before all this started. But I do know there are people whose live are being dramatically impacted by whatever it is that is going on. These are also good people. They just maybe made some bad decisions or were taken advantage of and now their lives are changed because of excesses by the larger sociocultural evolution that has happened.

And then, if I had another hand, it would be that this journey, this path, this life just has its moments. Moments that make you feel like there is no God. Moments where you want to just give up and crawl into a corner and start doing depressing things that make you forget about all the injustice. And that’s exactly what it is, injustice. Injustices of inequality in wealth, mistreatment of children, hunger and starvation, sudden death, violence, and on and on and on. It’s the stuff you see on the TV every night.

All of this makes me want to do something. Something that will make a difference. Something that will make me feel better about all this. But what can one person possibly do with limited resources and limited time. If I have $50 or even $1000 and want to give it to some cause then I am essentially taking away from some other cause by not giving to it. And even if I give that $50 or $1000, how do I choose what cause to give it to in the first place and how do I know it’s really going to make a difference?

Anyway, I feel lost. I don’t often feel lost on this Path. I’ve learned to keep my head up and my eyes forward so that I can plan my footsteps before I take them. This never fails for me. But what to do now? I feel like I am looking down at my feet realizing I need to get a new pair of shoes and feeling bad for that because my shoes are so much better than so many others shoes.

These are the times when I have to be steadfast in my faith that the Universe is benevolent. I have to remind myself that all of this is meaningful even if I don’t know what the meaning of it all is. I must not forget that there is a lesson in every moment and that all that counts is how I choose to view these lessons. I must also remember, or at least choose to believe, that often the Universe chooses to test us and test our faith so that we can grow and experience more of what it has to offer.

In the end, then, what is called for is nothing more, and nothing less, than what all the world’s great religions demand - that we do unto others as we would have them do unto us. Let us be our brother’s keeper, Scripture tells us. Let us be our sister’s keeper. Let us find that common stake we all have in one another, and let our politics reflect that spirit as well.

[A]t this moment, in this election, we can come together and say, “Not this time.” This time we want to talk about the crumbling schools that are stealing the future of black children and white children and Asian children and Hispanic children and Native American children. This time we want to reject the cynicism that tells us that these kids can’t learn; that those kids who don’t look like us are somebody else’s problem. The children of America are not those kids, they are our kids, and we will not let them fall behind in a 21st century economy. Not this time.

This time we want to talk about how the lines in the Emergency Room are filled with whites and blacks and Hispanics who do not have health care; who don’t have the power on their own to overcome the special interests in Washington, but who can take them on if we do it together.

This time we want to talk about the shuttered mills that once provided a decent life for men and women of every race, and the homes for sale that once belonged to Americans from every religion, every region, every walk of life. This time we want to talk about the fact that the real problem is not that someone who doesn’t look like you might take your job; it’s that the corporation you work for will ship it overseas for nothing more than a profit.

This time we want to talk about the men and women of every color and creed who serve together, and fight together, and bleed together under the same proud flag. We want to talk about how to bring them home from a war that never should’ve been authorized and never should’ve been waged, and we want to talk about how we’ll show our patriotism by caring for them, and their families, and giving them the benefits they have earned.

I would not be running for President if I didn’t believe with all my heart that this is what the vast majority of Americans want for this country. This union may never be perfect, but generation after generation has shown that it can always be perfected. And today, whenever I find myself feeling doubtful or cynical about this possibility, what gives me the most hope is the next generation - the young people whose attitudes and beliefs and openness to change have already made history in this election.

~ Barack Obama