Robb’s Blog

Some of us come into this world in situations that are not what we would have chosen. We may have a drunk for a parent or an abusive parent or maybe no parents at all or maybe we’re born into poverty or poor health. Whatever the case may be, the reality is what it is. No matter the details, we each have to find our Path through whatever it is that life gives us. No matter how challenging. No matter how painful.

It is easy to blame others or to blame God or the Universe for these unfortunate details. It’s easy to go to a place of hate in your mind for someone or some thing. But none of those options really do much to address the challenge. It only makes us feel worse about a bad situation.

It’s all relative and within that relativity lies the significance of this reality for each of us. I don’t claim by any means to have had a horrible life or have been presented with horrific realities. I’ve had my challenges but they pale in comparison to many. But I do know that I have found a Path. So I know it’s possible. And I know that in finding that Path I have for the most part found peace.

I wish that I could reach inside and pull out the essence of whatever it is that has helped me find this Path and create a little gift that could I give to anyone who is struggling with their own Karma. I feel very sympathetic to anyone who has not come to grips with whatever life has presented them with. Although I like to believe otherwise, I choose to live this life believing that it is the only chance I get to live it and in so doing, I feel that sympathy for anyone who is wasting this beautiful opportunity. If I could just give that part of me, I know that I would.

If you are reading this and you are struggling with Karma, just know that there is a Path where the Journey is fueled by Peace. I cannot describe the Path for you because again, it’s all relative, and I cannot tell you how to find the Path. But the Path exists and it’s character is perfect for each of us as long as we open our eyes and our hearts to it’s existence. That doesn’t mean that it’s always an easy Path or that it won’t throw obstacles at us. But the beauty of the Path is that simply being on it makes the obstacles and the challenges all that much easier to deal with.

Part of my own Karma is that I constantly am in a struggle for the Answer. And with that struggle I am burdened further with a strong desire to also share that Answer. The problem is that I don’t know what the Answer is. It’s one of the main reasons I write here. Through my writing, I am searching. And through my searching I am hoping that together we might find at least some small glimpse of that Answer.

I am not perfect and I often feel judged in that imperfection but that is just another characteristic of my own Karma. I do know that in this space I feel no judgment. Maybe it’s the facelessness of the computer I pour these words into. But I also know that I hope someone, even if only one, reads this and is inspired in some way. And I now realize that maybe that is part of the meaning that I so recently sought. Maybe that one inspiration is all that I am supposed to give and that is enough. I hope that this is true and I think, am choosing to believe so. I hope that you are reading this and are finding some meaning for yourself and in finding that meaning, helping me to find my own meaning.

Namaste and thank you for reading this.

I often challenge myself on whether I think I am materialistic or acting in a materialistic way. In this 24/7 world of connected media driven by the money of Madison Avenue, it’s easy to feel this way. I am constantly feeling the pull of this offer or that advertisement. Those marketers just know how to pull on my emotions and get my senses excited. I feel like I want that thingamawho and need that other doohicky because of course, I will look/feel/smell/taste/sound better if I had it ALL!

I believe that right now the Universe is having me go through an exercise of questioning and considering what it is that is important to me and what it is that truly makes me happy and unhappy too. Are the things that I have surrounded myself with really all that impactful on my overall happiness or are they actually detrimental to that wellbeing? I am still in the midst of considering this so I don’t know the answer and don’t know if I will ever really know the answer but I am pretty sure that objects and possessions are not what it’s all about. I mean, this is a fundamental teaching of true yoga right?

I think I at least know it’s all about the ego. Or at least its genesis is the ego. The ego likes to compare. The ego likes short term satisfaction. But on the other hand the ego also likes fear - the “monkey mind” if you will. It drives us to make choices that result in possession and then it freaks us out by making us worry about money and the source of money AND THEN it tells us that money is the answer. The more money we have, the happier we will be because we won’t have to worry about money anymore, of course. It seems so simple. But we lose site of what truly makes us happy which are the things that don’t require lots of money.

Getting back to the materialistic slant, I drive a sporty little BMW. Does that make me materialistic? I live in what I define as my dream house but at a minimum I think I can fairly characterize as a nice house. Does that make me materialistic? I choose to spend a large portion of my money on these things. Why? Well, mainly because I can right now, quite honestly but also because at the end of the day, I enjoy these things. Does that make me materialistic?

It would be easy to let my yoga get to me. It would be easy to feel guilty. But I choose to view it in the context of a larger purpose. I don’t know what that purpose is but I do believe it exists and that as I move down my Path, I will be made aware of my purpose as it unfolds. The things I have and the methods by which I acquired these things are part of a purpose that I can’t explain nor define. But it is a purpose nonetheless. Who am I to argue with that by turning away from these things or giving them up altogether? I suppose if I did that it would be part of my purpose too but I am not doing that because part of my purpose is my personality which is a significant input to my purpose.

Maybe I am fooling myself. Maybe I should be giving it all up and joining a yogi monastery. But something tells me that is not my purpose. Something tells me that the more important thing to do is to enjoy this time while it exists because tomorrow it could be gone or, knock on wood, severely impacted in some unforeseen way. But I guess if that happens, it’s just another piece to the purpose puzzle.

Ultimately I have learned that it’s all about the yoga and that has brought me amazing comfort. The poses are great and I love how they make me strong and when they make me sore and my physical body rejoices. But it’s the fundamentals of breathing and being present that remind me what’s really important because they trickle off my mat and into my life. It’s not the car, the house and most definitely not the money. These are just icing on a cake that is made from love. Love of life. Love of family. Love of friends. Love of the little details like the smell of the honeysuckle wafting through the spring air. Love of the moment because of how unbelievable the moment truly is. The yoga reminds me to remind myself of these things and to pay attention to them NOW, not the possibility that they might be there for me to enjoy tomorrow when I have more money.

The more often I practice - both physically and metaphysically - the more I am grounded by the fundamental ingredient of yoga which is love. If you took it all away and had nothing but love for it all, would you be unhappy? This is the question of questions. And although I am reluctant to give a confident answer, I know in my heart that the answer is yes. The monkey mind wants me to think I would be unhappy without the car or the house or the money especially. But my heart tells me that if I had love, in all its amazing forms, I would be happy.

Enlightenment has been defined as the state of realization in which the subtlest traces of ego and ignorance about the nature of reality are purified or eliminated. I think if I could allow my heart convince my ego that love is truly the answer, that I would be one enlightened yogi.

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about the meaning of life. More specifically, the meaning of my life. Even more specifically, I’ve been thinking about what my purpose is and feeling that I need to be doing something that “makes a difference.” I have yet to figure out what that means but I am getting closer. I keep thinking that I should be doing something meaningful that will help someone in some way. Again, whatever that means.

It’s been a pretty persistently reoccurring thought the past few weeks. Should I be working with some organization to benefit some group of people? Should I instead set aside some amount of my income to donate to some organization on a monthly basis? And if one of these is the path I feel I should be taking, what are the details? How do I choose what organization to work with or which one to donate to? If I give my time or money to one, am I not essentially taking away from another? And if I choose either of those options, aren’t I taking away from my family by not giving that time or money to them now or for the future?

I am completely torn. So I finally yesterday expressed to Marcia what I was feeling. I boiled it all down to the simplest view of it which is “I want to do something meaningful. I want to feel, on my deathbed (assuming I have the opportunity to ponder this), that my life was meaningful and that I did something meaningful not just with my life but for some undefined other life (or lives).”

Her response to me really brought it all into perspective. This is one of the many reasons I love that woman so much. She said that I am living a meaningful life because I am raising two beautiful, wonderful little girls. YES! Of course I am. Eureka! And don’t mistake that I don’t feel that it is meaningful to raise two children in this life. It’s just that I was feeling I needed to do something that would have a positive impact on other peoples lives. But who’s to say that by raising these little people that I am not doing that?

It made me realize how relative it all is. Relativity does not just apply to quantum physics. It’s all about perspective. How you view everything truly impacts and shapes your life. Beyond that, how you define things can truly impact your life and clearly for me, my life direction.

Should I feel guilty for not going down a path of “service” (whatever that means)? Should I feel sinful (whatever that means)? I think no is the answer to both of those questions as well as many more like them. What is wrong with a life dedicated to happiness - both my own, in the form of time and satisfaction from raising beautiful people, to the happiness of those two little ones that I am raising? Who’s to say that isn’t my purpose in life and a large part of their purpose in life? If I choose this path I can NOT be wrong and no one can tell me it is wrong. Each of us must make choices based on the experiences and stimuli that we are presented with in life. Some of us may choose “service” (whatever that means) and some of us may choose “love” (whatever that means). Neither is wrong. Each is right for each that chooses. It’s just a matter of perspective.

Oh yeah, and a little compassion. We can NOT judge or ridicule because someone else has chosen a path that we have not chosen. We are all doing the best we can possibly do given the conditions that we’ve individually been given. Some of us call it random and drift, others don’t call it anything because of “unconsciousness,” while others see a purpose and seek a path. Is the latter “right” any more than the former? None of us have proof that ANYTHING is truly real beyond the physical that we can perceive so why call anything “wrong?”

Anyway, I am getting off topic. For me this is about my Path. It always has been. What is my Path and am I making sure I am still on my Path? The answer to that is a resounding YES! I find that when I am feeling uncertain about something in life or when I am feeling “needy” in life, I am about to have some personal revelation. This simple process of seeking meaning and finding meaning right in front of my eyes was just one of these episodes.

The amazing thing to me about these episodes is the coincidences I often experience. I had one last night only several hours after having had this conversation about “meaning” with my wonderful friend and wife. Friday night is movie and Subway night at our house. Via a friend we recently discovered “Redbox” DVD rental which is a movie vending machine in the Harris Teeter grocery stores. Last night, Marcia got the movie “Martian Child” with John and Joan Cusack. I had never heard of this movie and Marcia got it because it seemed like a good family friendly movie for us to watch while being one we would all enjoy.

Cusack portrays science fiction writer David Gordon, a thirtysomething widower. Seeking to do something “meaningful” with his life, David considers adopting a child. While wrestling with the decision, he is drawn to a six-year-old boy named Dennis (Bobby Coleman) who just happens to think he is from Mars. Dennis spends his days secluded in a large cardboard box (he’s fearful of the sun), wearing a weighted belt to keep him floating away and the victim of the cruel teasing of other children.

Did you catch the coincidence in that? In the movie, Cusack is telling a friend that he wants to do something meaningful and that something happens to be adopting and raising this beautiful little boy.

I don’t know about you but I view that is pretty coincidental and pretty amazing support for the revelation of meaning about my own life that I had just a few hours earlier.

Most of us go through life a little afraid, a little nervous, a little excited. We are like children playing hide and seek, wanting to be found, yet hoping we won’t be, biting our nails with anticipation. We worry when opportunity approaches a little too closely, and hide deeper in the shadows when fear overcomes us. This is no way to go through life. People who understand the true nature of reality, those whom some traditions call enlightened, lose all sense of fear or concern. All worry disappears. Once you understand the way life really works—the flow of energy, information, and intelligence that directs every moment—then you begin to see the amazing potential in that moment. Mundane things just don’t bother you anymore. You become lighthearted and full of joy. You also begin to encounter more and more coincidences in your life.

When you live your life with an appreciation of coincidences and their meanings, you connect with the underlying field of infinite possibilities. This is when the magic begins. This is a state I call synchrodestiny, in which it becomes possible to achieve the spontaneous fulfillment of our every desire. Synchrodestiny requires gaining access to a place deep within yourself, while at the same time awakening to the intricate dance of coincidences out in the physical world.

~ From “The Spontaneous Fulfillment of Desire” by Deepak Chopra