I’ve been thinking a lot lately about the meaning of life. More specifically, the meaning of my life. Even more specifically, I’ve been thinking about what my purpose is and feeling that I need to be doing something that “makes a difference.” I have yet to figure out what that means but I am getting closer. I keep thinking that I should be doing something meaningful that will help someone in some way. Again, whatever that means.
It’s been a pretty persistently reoccurring thought the past few weeks. Should I be working with some organization to benefit some group of people? Should I instead set aside some amount of my income to donate to some organization on a monthly basis? And if one of these is the path I feel I should be taking, what are the details? How do I choose what organization to work with or which one to donate to? If I give my time or money to one, am I not essentially taking away from another? And if I choose either of those options, aren’t I taking away from my family by not giving that time or money to them now or for the future?
I am completely torn. So I finally yesterday expressed to Marcia what I was feeling. I boiled it all down to the simplest view of it which is “I want to do something meaningful. I want to feel, on my deathbed (assuming I have the opportunity to ponder this), that my life was meaningful and that I did something meaningful not just with my life but for some undefined other life (or lives).”
Her response to me really brought it all into perspective. This is one of the many reasons I love that woman so much. She said that I am living a meaningful life because I am raising two beautiful, wonderful little girls. YES! Of course I am. Eureka! And don’t mistake that I don’t feel that it is meaningful to raise two children in this life. It’s just that I was feeling I needed to do something that would have a positive impact on other peoples lives. But who’s to say that by raising these little people that I am not doing that?
It made me realize how relative it all is. Relativity does not just apply to quantum physics. It’s all about perspective. How you view everything truly impacts and shapes your life. Beyond that, how you define things can truly impact your life and clearly for me, my life direction.
Should I feel guilty for not going down a path of “service” (whatever that means)? Should I feel sinful (whatever that means)? I think no is the answer to both of those questions as well as many more like them. What is wrong with a life dedicated to happiness - both my own, in the form of time and satisfaction from raising beautiful people, to the happiness of those two little ones that I am raising? Who’s to say that isn’t my purpose in life and a large part of their purpose in life? If I choose this path I can NOT be wrong and no one can tell me it is wrong. Each of us must make choices based on the experiences and stimuli that we are presented with in life. Some of us may choose “service” (whatever that means) and some of us may choose “love” (whatever that means). Neither is wrong. Each is right for each that chooses. It’s just a matter of perspective.
Oh yeah, and a little compassion. We can NOT judge or ridicule because someone else has chosen a path that we have not chosen. We are all doing the best we can possibly do given the conditions that we’ve individually been given. Some of us call it random and drift, others don’t call it anything because of “unconsciousness,” while others see a purpose and seek a path. Is the latter “right” any more than the former? None of us have proof that ANYTHING is truly real beyond the physical that we can perceive so why call anything “wrong?”
Anyway, I am getting off topic. For me this is about my Path. It always has been. What is my Path and am I making sure I am still on my Path? The answer to that is a resounding YES! I find that when I am feeling uncertain about something in life or when I am feeling “needy” in life, I am about to have some personal revelation. This simple process of seeking meaning and finding meaning right in front of my eyes was just one of these episodes.
The amazing thing to me about these episodes is the coincidences I often experience. I had one last night only several hours after having had this conversation about “meaning” with my wonderful friend and wife. Friday night is movie and Subway night at our house. Via a friend we recently discovered “Redbox” DVD rental which is a movie vending machine in the Harris Teeter grocery stores. Last night, Marcia got the movie “Martian Child” with John and Joan Cusack. I had never heard of this movie and Marcia got it because it seemed like a good family friendly movie for us to watch while being one we would all enjoy.
Cusack portrays science fiction writer David Gordon, a thirtysomething widower. Seeking to do something “meaningful” with his life, David considers adopting a child. While wrestling with the decision, he is drawn to a six-year-old boy named Dennis (Bobby Coleman) who just happens to think he is from Mars. Dennis spends his days secluded in a large cardboard box (he’s fearful of the sun), wearing a weighted belt to keep him floating away and the victim of the cruel teasing of other children.
Did you catch the coincidence in that? In the movie, Cusack is telling a friend that he wants to do something meaningful and that something happens to be adopting and raising this beautiful little boy.
I don’t know about you but I view that is pretty coincidental and pretty amazing support for the revelation of meaning about my own life that I had just a few hours earlier.
Most of us go through life a little afraid, a little nervous, a little excited. We are like children playing hide and seek, wanting to be found, yet hoping we won’t be, biting our nails with anticipation. We worry when opportunity approaches a little too closely, and hide deeper in the shadows when fear overcomes us. This is no way to go through life. People who understand the true nature of reality, those whom some traditions call enlightened, lose all sense of fear or concern. All worry disappears. Once you understand the way life really works—the flow of energy, information, and intelligence that directs every moment—then you begin to see the amazing potential in that moment. Mundane things just don’t bother you anymore. You become lighthearted and full of joy. You also begin to encounter more and more coincidences in your life.
When you live your life with an appreciation of coincidences and their meanings, you connect with the underlying field of infinite possibilities. This is when the magic begins. This is a state I call synchrodestiny, in which it becomes possible to achieve the spontaneous fulfillment of our every desire. Synchrodestiny requires gaining access to a place deep within yourself, while at the same time awakening to the intricate dance of coincidences out in the physical world.
~ From “The Spontaneous Fulfillment of Desire” by Deepak Chopra
