Robb’s Blog

If I only had more time to write. More time to consider what I am able to even write in this space. If there is one thing in life that I feel is NOT abundant enough, it is time.

I am reminded …

Time is the school in which we learn,
Time is the fire in which we burn.

~ Delmore Schwartz - Calmly We Walk Through This April’s Day

It seems to me that we are taught the right lessons at the right time. Taught them when we are required to learn them. Taught them when we need them but more often before we need them. Lessons about ourselves and about the meaning of This for each of us. Lessons about how to be better at this life. How to refine our enjoyment of and our progress in this life.

It’s often everyday little things that are presented in everyday moments. Things that are sometimes easy to miss or more likely, easy to mischaracterize as nothing. Or worse, as something negative.

The ultimate lesson learned though is to act with enlivened consciousness of the fact that it’s all about reaching new levels. New levels of understanding. New levels of appreciation. New levels of knowledge. New levels of feeling. Higher levels than from where we begin each moment so that each moment brings with it something new. Something worth paying attention to. Something worth remembering.

The beauty of this process is that the universe is constantly thrusting us into the future with these lessons and that we can use our own vision, our own faith, to shape that future. Sometimes you learn the lessons you need faster than other times. Strong faith propelling you forward. While at other times you learn more slowly either from lack of sufficient faith OR because that’s the way it’s supposed to be for some future state that you haven’t yet reached. That state being far enough out that the Universe knows it can take it’s time with that particular lesson. Knows it can allow you to struggle a bit with your own faith so that the next lesson is that much more meaningful.

The down side to this if you don’t believe that each moment is a lesson is that each moment will go right by you and in so doing you will go right on with your ignorant ways. Feelings of dissatisfaction, feelings that life has treated you unfairly, and most importantly, feelings of stagnation.

And all that I have held in life, has brought me to this day,
A day of soft remembrance, A day which holds me dear.
If all these things that I have known, and held within my life,
should not have happened Or occurred in any other way.
I may well not be standing here, upon this hill and gazing down,
warmed by the Sun, In light and love today.
To choose our path, or to be chose, I know not which is true,
but ne’er regret, nor Lose the love of all the things we do.
To live our life by natures code, to give more than receive,
to help and understand in Life, and see all we believe.

~ Maelwys, The Rainbows End

I am taking a short break from this space to focus on a few other creative outlets (and to make sure my professional life stays sane). For example, I just finished building Marcia’s new website (BETA, not real content as of 2/23 but will be very soon). I also started a new blog.

I will be back!

In the mean time, check out my other endeavors:

• A Yoga Journey
• Seeking Spirit

At what point does ones strict adherence to a faith - be it faith in Life, faith in the Universe, faith in God, call it what you choose - result in irresponsible or reckless behavior? Clearly this can and does happen. My previous post about the confusing emotions I still feel to this day about the attacks of September 11th, 2001 on the World Trade Center is an obvious example of irresponsibility and absolute recklessness in faith. That’s a kind of extreme, fanatical faith that is, in my mind, crystal clear in its irresponsibility. But what about the more subtle, day-to-day potential that exists?

This is an amazing complexity of consciousness for me. No matter how many times I read about faith or using the law of attraction or thinking positive thoughts or the power of intention, I always wonder in the back of my mind how many people put too much faith in these practices to the point that they act irresponsibly.

Nothing is concrete in life. And I believe that this is part of the plan that the Universe has for us. Its part of the Lesson. It would be too “easy” if it were clear that a strong faith is all one needs to succeed in life or get the objects of ones desire to manifest. We would all be running around manifesting money and “stuff” and the world would be an absolute mess (as if it isn’t enough of a mess already).

I mean, thank God we all have egos that get in our way. I am SO grateful for ego. It keeps us from really and truly messing up the world.

I think this is one of the reasons that humans, as we evolved consciously and culturally, began to define good vs. bad as God vs. the Devil. As we learned that faith and confidence in our faith could deliver powerful results if practiced consistently, we also learned that the ego tended to insert itself into our efforts. It was only natural to philosophize that an opposing force was at work. A yang to the yin. The devil in the details.

I am personally not so sure that I believe in the devil. I believe whatever and wherever we came from is truly and naturally good because I not only feel goodness at the center of my own being but believe I have experienced enough of other peoples goodness to feel that goodness is our natural state. It’s the angle of repose for our spirits, if you will.

But then I hear about a shooting at a university and wonder if I have gotten this part right yet. Or I think about 9/11 and think that maybe my philosophy is wrong. But I can’t believe that. I have to believe that we are all good. So the question is, why do people do such horrible things? I don’t think the answer is one that we can ever truly formulate. I struggle with this almost more than any other spiritual conundrum because its very easy to think that there IS an evil side to this existence. You could describe many things that happen on a daily basis as evidence of this evil. But I simply can’t believe it. The Universe IS good and we, as spiritual beings, are good.

The only conclusion I come to after many hours and repetitions in philosophy, is that this reality truly is a product of our own views. Just as a strong and consistent faith (i.e., belief that all is good and the Universe is on our side) can lead to wonderful things in ones life, so to can a strong and consistent belief in the bad or the negative. If we believe that life has an evil side, then we create that evil through that belief and manifest it in our own lives. And that doesn’t mean that if it were humanly possible to always and 100% of the time have complete and utter confidence in this Goodness that “evil” things still aren’t going to happen. First of all, I don’t believe that it is humanly possible to have that complete and utter confidence 100% of the time because of the existence of the ego. And because we cannot reach that state, there will always be some form of struggle and pain and desperation in life. For some, the struggle will be more than for others because I think many of us forget about our purpose in life. Furthermore, there’s that previous topic of irresponsibility in faith.

Faith can and quite often is unfortunately used to justify beliefs and actions. People fly planes into buildings in the name of their faith. People also condemn other views because they have let their faith begin to describe their reality. Sometimes people believe something so much that they miss the cues the Universe provides that let us know we are off course and acting irresponsibly. These cues can be subtle so you have to pay close attention and therefore it’s easy to miss them if your are blinded by some faith.

At the end of the day, I don’t think it’s possible for us in this particular reality to truly comprehend this and rationalize it. For me, it’s just another one of the multitude of aspects in this reality that the Universe provides as a Lesson that only each of us can learn if we decide to choose to apply faith and stay conscious of trying to figure out what it is we are supposed to be learning.

I had a moment of gratitude this morning that literally brought me to tears. It was almost painful in its intensity. It doesn’t really matter what triggered it. What matters is that I had it and that in the moment I had a crystal clear vision that the Universe was telling me two things. 1) This is the way I am supposed to feel. This is the way we are all supposed to feel. And 2) that more of the same will lead to more of what I desire in life.

This is a very interesting experience to have had. First of all because it was a very spiritually intense moment but mainly because it wasn’t all that long ago that I mostly rejected the idea that the Universe could communicate to me in this way. Furthermore, in the not-to-distance past, I would have questioned #2 with the perspective that it was just my mind reminding of the things I’ve read (i.e., The Secret, Abraham-Hicks, etc.). However, right now is not the past and my yoga and my Journey have both brought me to a very different state of mind and set of beliefs about the Universe.

I have come to believe that this life is primarily a cycle of tests that the Universe lays in front of us to either learn from or whither from. We grow spiritually by facing these tests head on, finding meaning in them, learning from the experience of them and the meaning we find in them and then feeling grateful for having had the opportunity to not only successfully face them but more importantly, for simply being alive to face them in the first place.

Albert Schweitzer said it best:

To educate yourself for the feeling of gratitude means to take nothing for granted, but to always seek out and value the kind that will stand behind the action. Nothing that is done for you is a matter of course. Everything originates in a will for the good, which is directed at you. Train yourself never to put off the word or action for the expression of gratitude.

I don’t like that this is the first subject that I am exploring in this new space. But it is what is on my mind right now.

I cannot shake the emotion that I feel about this image and this topic. To this day, I still find it difficult to believe that it actually happened. I need to think about this more and write about this subject more but for now, I just want to look at the photo for some time.

I have decided to rededicate and refocus my passion for writing and creative expression. It’s not that I necessarily lost it. I just realize that I need more of it.

It’s not what one does that defines a person. It’s not even the person that necessarily defines what should be done. It is simply the way in which one does what one does that matters.

I will be sharing both original words and imagery as well as the same from those that inspire me. My goal is to inspire myself with the beauty of what God allows us to do here.

Previously, I used Blogger. Maybe one day I will import all of that to this space. Maybe not. Regardless, I find this space more creatively engaging and flexible.

I was initially thrust down this path by the practice of yoga. What I’ve learned though is that yoga was just a stepping stone for me. A beautiful, precisely placed stone in the midst of tumultuous seas. A stone that was not only dry amongst the waves but unmoving. That stone helped me to gain insight into aspects of this reality that have now taken wing and allowed me to see that there are many, many other stones in the sea. And the most important lesson of all that I have learned from all of this is that every one of them are my rock.

“I met a man once who had been travelling with a violent lunatic, held down in the carriage by two keepers. The poor fellow had lately come into a large fortune. It was too much for him. He was unable to sleep for days and days, and went raving mad. Only the very day that my friend made his remark, some curious circumstances came under my notice which certainly had a colouring of romance or something worse about them.”

- London Society, An Illustrated Magazine of Light and Amusing Literature for the Hours of Relaxation

 

“Because I came here with a load
And it feels so much lighter
Since I met you
And honey you should know
That I could never go on without you
Green eyes”

- Coldplay

 

Angels and sailors
rich girls
backyard fences
tents
dreams watching each other narrowly
soft luxuriant cars
girls in garages, stripped
out to get liquor and clothes
half gallons of wine and six-packs of beer
jumped, humped, born to suffer
made to undress in the wilderness.

- Jim Morrison, An American Prayer

 

I am on a non-creative binge right now. I need time to recover but my creative juices will be flowing again soon.